Parents often worry when their child wets the bed, especially as they get older. Here, we explain what causes bedwetting and when it typically stops – and offer practical suggestions that can prevent kids from having bedtime accidents.
As much as parents look forward to the day their kids are finally potty-trained, many dread the thought and process of potty training. It can be challenging to determine when a child is ready to start or which method works best, and dealing with accidents and bedwetting long after potty training can be frustrating.
To help, we’re answering four common potty training questions that many parents face:
How do I know if my child’s ready to potty train?
According to pediatrician Dr. Cindy Greenberg, signs of readiness typically appear between 18 months and two years of age. “It can be before or after that and it’s all totally normal,” she stresses. “It correlates with where they are at their development. They’re in this phase called ‘I do it’ or ‘the terrible twos,’ and it’s all about them needing to have control and independence.”
Signs of potty training readiness generally fall into three categories:
- Physical abilities – what their bodies can do
- Behavioral choices – what they choose to do
- Cognitive understanding – what they can understand and communicate
When signs from all three categories start to overlap, it’s usually a good indication your child is developmentally ready to start toilet training.
What’s the best potty training method?
Research shows that no single method of potty training is superior to others. Most approaches fall into two main categories:
- Adult-led methods where parents guide the process
- Child-led methods where kids are in control
Each style has its own advantages and disadvantages. The key is finding what works best for your:
- Family’s needs
- Specific circumstances
- Child’s temperament
Don’t be afraid to experiment and change course if your initial approach isn’t working. The goal is to find a method that minimizes stress for everyone involved.
Why is my child still having accidents?
Even after successful toilet training, occasional accidents are normal. As neuroscientist Dr. Alex Korb explains, children’s brains are still developing, and they’re learning to interpret bodily signals. “They might not have a good understanding of what the fullness of their bladder or bowels feels like. They might not connect that feeling to the urgency of what they need to do. They might not be good at guiding their actions or controlling their impulses to stop playing with that super fun toy.”
Dr. Korb emphasizes that accidents are unintentional. “They can’t control whether they have an accident,” he says. “They’re still figuring it out.”
How do I help my older kid stop bedwetting?
Bedwetting, while frustrating, is common and can continue until around age seven. Key points to remember:
- If your child isn’t bothered by nighttime accidents, pediatric urologist Dr. Israel Franco suggests being patient. “If the child doesn’t care, they’re not going to stop. If the parent is interested and the child’s not interested, it’s not going to happen.”
- Genetics play a role – if you or your child’s other parent were bedwetters, there’s a 40% chance your child will be too. They’ll likely stop around the same age you did.
- Diet modifications can help prevent bedwetting. Dr. Franco specifically recommends avoiding evening dairy products: “Don’t let your kids drink milk at dinner time and beyond – and no ice cream at night. Dairy is one of the things that contributes most to nighttime wetting.”
Important Tips to Remember
- Potty training is a developmental process influenced by various factors including:
- Stress
- Illness
- Developmental changes
- Major life changes (like a new sibling)
- If challenges arise, taking a break for a couple of weeks can be helpful. As Dr. Greenberg notes, “Everyone ends up potty trained. Any time before four is great.”
