Is your child having trouble sleeping? It could be related to anxiety. You know how hard it is for you to get to sleep when you’re worried or jittery, and for your child, it’s no different. Whether it’s a basic bedtime fear or something more, anxiety can keep your kid up at night – keeping you up right along with them and leaving you stressing, “How can I help my anxious child sleep?”
To make the problem even murkier, sometimes anxiety isn’t actually the problem; sleeplessness is. Research shows that lack of sleep or sleep disruptions can contribute to anxiety, so if something else is keeping your kid awake, they may start to become more nervous or tense. Of course, that can make it harder for them to get to sleep, and a vicious cycle begins.
In Era’s podcast, “Anxiety 101,” we look at many of the reasons kids become anxious – including trouble sleeping – and explore the relationship between anxiety and sleep. We also talk with the experts and share strategies for managing your child’s anxiety, no matter what the cause, so your family can all sleep a little easier.
How Does Sleep Affect Anxiety?
If your child can’t sleep, anxiety could be the cause – but the reverse could be true as well. Researchers know there’s a connection between sleep and anxiety, but they’re still figuring out which comes first. “Sleep and anxiety are closely correlated,” says child psychiatrist Dr. David Hong. “Sleep problems affect millions, including adolescents and children, so a big proportion of them will also have anxiety issues. It is often difficult to say which is the chicken and the egg.”
If your child has anxiety, it’s worth looking at their sleep patterns to see if they’re getting enough rest. Dr. Hong says signs your child isn’t sleeping well may include:
- Fatigue and sleepiness during the daytime
- Irritability, feeling sad, or moodiness
- Behavioral problems or hyperactivity
- Difficulty concentrating
“It’s a broad range,” shares Dr. Hong. “If kids need parents to come in four times to get them out of bed in the morning, that is a sign of a sleep deficit for most kids. Younger kids may not be able to identify that feeling of tiredness, so it might come out as mood or behavioral symptoms. Also, kids may respond to having inadequate sleep by seeming over-active or hyperactive.”
Getting better sleep may or may not improve your child’s anxiety issues, but the benefits of a good night’s rest extend far and wide.
How to Deal with Bedtime Fears
Bedtime fears are common and can manifest differently at various ages. Here are some age-specific concerns and strategies to help:
Young Children (0-5 years)
- Separation Anxiety: Being alone in a dark room can trigger fears of separation. Help your child feel secure by:
- Providing a clear rundown of the next day’s activities
- Maintaining consistent goodnight routines
- Offering gentle reminders that you’ll see them in the morning
School-Age Children (6-12 years)
Children’s growing understanding of the world, combined with rich imaginations, can lead to more complex fears. Common concerns include:
- Fear of monsters or ghosts
- Worry about intruders
- Fear of the dark
To help address these fears:
- Examine their sleep environment from their perspective – lie in their bed to spot potentially scary shadows or sounds
- Consider practical solutions like night lights or white noise machines
- Create a calming bedtime routine that helps them wind down
Older Children and Tweens
As children mature, their anxieties often become more reality-based. They might worry about:
- School performance
- Social relationships
- Family issues
- World events
Help them manage these concerns by:
- Setting aside time before bed to discuss their worries
- Teaching relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or guided imagery
- Maintaining a consistent bedtime schedule that includes wind-down time
Helping Kids Handle Anxiety
While it’s natural to want to shield children from worries, learning to discuss and manage anxiety is an important life skill. Dr. Neha Navsaria suggests that parents can help by modeling healthy ways to handle stress. This might include:
- Talking openly about your own worries (in age-appropriate ways)
- Demonstrating how you work through challenging situations
- Showing that it’s possible to function normally even when feeling anxious
For example, you might share: “I’m worried because they canceled your practice and haven’t told us when it will be rescheduled. I’ll wait until tomorrow afternoon, and if I haven’t heard anything, I’ll send them an email to ask.”
Tips for Better Sleep
Dr. Tovah Klein emphasizes the importance of maintaining consistent boundaries around bedtime. This means:
- Sticking to established routines
- Resisting requests for “just one more” story or activity
- Maintaining regular sleep and wake times
When children know what to expect, they’re less likely to feel anxious about bedtime. Good sleep hygiene practices, combined with clear boundaries and emotional support, can help your child develop healthy sleep habits that last a lifetime.
